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I am learning more and more about whole foods and came across a 17 1/2 minute lecture by Robyn O’Brien.  If you want to know why so many of us have developed food allergies, check this out.

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Another blog I found is about helping leaders and organizations find their true potential.  He linked my Learning How to NOT Multi-Task as related reading in his Leadership Thought #303 blog entry.  He has a lot of good things to say in his blog.  It will be worth your time checking it out.   You may even want to follow it.

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No Comments From the Peanut Gallery was a well written blog that talks to bloggers about reading and commenting on other blogs.  I found it interesting… and effective.  I had to comment on his blog.  His blog entry made the Freshly Pressed list.

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I have to say that one of my favorite blogs for great photos is Photobotos.com.  Go there and scroll down.  Make sure that you click on “Other Entries” on the left as you reach the bottom.  As of today there are some amazing photos on the second page.  Every day there is a photo from somewhere around the world.

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I never took time to read blogs before I started writing my own blog.  There are a lot of insightful, interesting blogs out there.  Our world is filled with creative people.  I’ve really enjoyed spending time reading new blogs for a while this afternoon.  I hope you enjoy these as well.

Have a blessed evening.  I believe I’ll try to get to bed early.

Image via Wikipedia

OK, I admit it.  I love Coca Cola.  Not that diet stuff, though.   I’m talking about the real Coke.  (Any kind of diet soda pop has a bad after-taste to me.  Remember Tab?  That was the first diet soda I ever tasted and I swore off of diet sodas from that point on.  I haven’t found one yet that I can enjoy.)

In fact, my “discerning tastes” in Coca Cola go so far as to believe that it tastes better from a glass bottle than from an aluminum can.  If given the choice, I buy the glass bottle.

But, alas, I have read and have been told on many occasions over the years that soda pop is bad for us so I have seriously limited my intake of any kind of soft drink for a number of years now.  However, I still do like a Coke now and then.

For years I have heard that Coke can disolve nails.  I just read an experiment by “Josh” that I thought was a bit humorous in it’s serious dedication to the truth, but it does prove two points:

1.  You can’t believe every chain e-mail you read.  (He debunked an e-mail that has been spreading a rumor I’ve heard for years.)

2. Coke does not disolve a nail in 4 days.  Myth debunked.  (I’m sure that the Coca Cola company is happy about that.)

To read about his experiment go to his blog, “Will Coke Disolve A Nail” Experiment.  Thanks, Josh.

Similarly, if you have read or heard that Coke disolves teeth or a penny or meat in a short period of time check out what Snopes says about it.  Snopes talks briefly about the origin of these rumors.

Now, having said that…  Is soda pop GOOD for you?  Not likely, even if it tastes good to those of us who enjoy it.

Bone Density Problems

According to the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, a 2006 clinical study showed that colas (not other sodas) are linked with significantly lower bone density.

Excessive Amounts of Sugar With Zero Nutrition

There is such a high concentration of sugar in soda pop that there are studies that talk about diabetes, hyperactivity and so much more.  It doesn’t matter what kind of soda.  For example, one 20 ounce bottle of Coke has 65 grams of sugar.  They label 20 ounces as one serving.  So, in the time it takes to drink one can of Coke, you have just loaded your body up with 65 grams of sugar.  Got that?    And there is no nutritional value in Coke (or other soft drinks) at all.  The companies making them don’t claim that they’re good for you.  They just say that they’re refreshing and stuff like that.  (Quite frankly, I’ve come to find that a glass of cold water is far more refreshing.)

Let’s see… for the equivalent of that amount of sugar you can have things loaded with nutrients such as:

• 5 cups of canteloup
• almost 3 oranges (who eats three oranges at a time?)
• 3 large apples
• almost 4 bananas
• slightly more than 4 fresh, juicy, delicious peaches
• more than 9 cups of strawberries
• 3.6 cups of watermelon
• 7 cups of pineapple

The list goes on and on.  Double or triple those numbers if you load your body with 2 or 3 sodas worth of sugar in a day.  It’s unlikely that anyone would eat that much at one time.  But, you get the idea.  When you think about it, would you REALLY choose coke that has absolutely no nutrition rather than load up on amazing nutrition that will keep you healthy, taste delicious, keep your brain sharp, give you real energy (not caffeine induced energy), and so many other things?  I like my Coke, but I’d much rather drink water and enjoy peaches or strawberries or pineapple or canteloup, loading up on lots of nutrients and taking in much less sugar in the process.   (I mean, who in the world can eat 7 cups of pineapple or 9 cups of strawberries.  But you could eat plenty and have your sugar fix filled with nutrition from whole foods.)

Another study from the Karolinska Institute of Sweden was written up in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition.  This study concluded with this:  High consumption of sugar and high-sugar foods may be associated with a greater risk of pancreatic cancer.  This is serious, folks.

Artificial Sweeteners

So, what do you do?  Do you choose the diet sodas instead?  Are you kidding?  I did research on these and was completely turned off.  Please check out my blog on artificial sweeteners.  Again.. there is zero nutritional value in soft drinks.  So, take that zero nutritional value and add something man-made (not natural) which also has zero nutritional value that many clinical studies have shown to be harmful in various ways?  Do you know what they’re made of?  Again… Check out my blog on artificial sweeteners.  I won’t touch them after the research I did.

So, here’s my question.

Why choose soda pop at all if your only choices are high sugar without any nutrition or high artificial sweeteners without nutrition?   There are so many things to drink.  If you’re like my husband, you want variety.  (He’s not ready to give up soft drinks yet… and he drinks the diet stuff since he’s diabetic.  I’m working on him.)  But, here are ideas if you want a variety of types of things to drink.  Keep a couple of them in the fridge at all times.

• Pour a glass of water over ice and add a lemon slice to it.  That can be quite refreshing.
• Make your own fruit flavored water.  See this E-How article on How to Make Fruit Water for ideas.
• Make sweet tea with your own sweetener.  Try throwing in a leaf of stevia when you brew your tea if you’re diabetic… just remember that it’s quite sweet and adjust to your taste.  Use a number of natural choices if you’re not diabetic.  (Remember that if you use coconut sugar, it has a caramel taste that affects what your sweeten.  That may go well with coffee, but not necessarily with some of the herb teas.  It depends on your tastebuds.)
• I have a mint garden and like to freeze the leaves in little packets.  In the middle of winter, I pull out a packet (which holds enough for a pot of tea) and brew mint tea.  Yum.  In the summer, it’s delicious cold.  (I can drink it sweetened or not.  But, if you have a sweet tooth, iced sweet mint tea is very refreshing on a hot summer day.
• I have a variety of Celestial Seasoning tea in my cupboard.  I brew it by the pot full and enjoy it hot or cold.  They have such a variety of natural herb teas and other types of tea (such as green tea) that it’s hard to get bored with it when you keep a pitcher of different kinds of brewed teas in the fridge.  At night I enjoy a cup of unsweetened sleepy time tea.  It has a mild, pleasant flavor.  How about choices like cinnamon apple spice, country peach passion, lemon zinger, cranberry apple zinger, or raspberry zinger.  Click on their link above to see the many choices they offer.
• Use your imagination… the possibilities are endless.

Start making healthy choices.  Make soda an occasional treat if you must have it.  But, wean yourself off as much as possible for your own health’s sake.  There’s only one you.  You have to take care of yourself.

Have a blessed day!

But, if you’re like me, some of it is not hidden at all.  I can’t drink coffee without doctoring it up with cream and sugar.  My husband always buys me some special box of chocolates on special occasions.  (My favorite is Sees Candies – Nuts and Chews.  Yum.)

So what is a person to do?  Turn to artificial sweeteners?  Well, let’s check that possibility out.

Saccharin (the pink packet)

Saccharin was discovered by accident at Johns Hopkins University while experimenting with coal tar derivitives. It’s a tar byproduct.  Let’s see how appetizing this is…   There are two methods for producing saccharin.

The first is called the Remsen-Fahlberg Process.  They react toluene with chlorosulfonic acid.  This acid compound is then synthesized with a number of other compounds including potassium permanganate and ammonia.  Hmmm…  tasty. (Really??   People WANT to put this into their bodies?  I wonder what made the first scientists decide to put this in his/her mouth and taste it.)

The other method is called the Maumee Process.  They take phthalic anhydride which is actually an industrial compound used in creating plastics.  It is converted to anthranilic acid which is synthesized with a number of components including nitrous acid, sulfur dioxide, chlorine, and ammonia.  (Even tastier than the first method, eh?)

Aspartame (the blue packet)

Two amino acids, aspartic acid and phenylalanine, are used in this sweetener.  Sounds natural, eh?  According to a number of nutritionists and doctors, this is a dangerous product.  The processes used to make Aspartame (Nutra-Sweet) are fermentation and synthesis.  They raise large quantities of certain types of bacteria that are necessary to produce these amino acids.  They harvest the amino acids and kill the bacteria.  In order to raise that bacteria, they have large vats that include ingredients such as molassas, glucose, acetic acid, amonia and uric acid.

There’s a whole process involved in the fermentation, but then the amino acids that are collected are dried so that they are ready for synthesis.  During the first step of synthesis, they react methanol with L-phenylalanine.  Then they are pumped into a reactor for the next step of crystalization that has to be modified even more by reacting it with acetic acid in a tank filled with aqueous acid solution, a palladium metal catalyst, and hydrogen.  Then the metal catalyst is removed,  The remaining residue is disolved in an aqueous ethanol solution and recrystalized.  (Go to E-Notes, listed below to get more detailed information.)  Does that sound even remotely good for you?  What made someone think this was a food product?

Sucralose (the yellow packet)

Sucralose is made by substituting three chlorine ions for hydroxyl groups.  To be honest, I haven’t found a lot of information about exactly how it is made.  This is the only sweetener that is highly heat stable so you can bake and cook with it.  It is made from sugar, but in reality it is a synthetic chemical created in a lab.  There is nothing natural about it.

When you’re trying to sell something to the public, you’ll talk about it in glowing terms.  Every large corporation hires master marketers to market it’s product for maximum sales.  You can find out what the sales talk is by going to All About Sucralose (link below).

By the way, the FDA approved this as a table top sweetener after 110 clinical studies.  What they didn’t say was that at the time only 2 of those studies has been done on humans and the longest of those human studies had been for 4 days.  How does one find out enough about safety to the health of humans in 4 days?

Instead of just listening to marketing material (created by people who have taken advanced psychology classes combined with marketing techniques and know how to manipulate), what you want to also do is to go to places where research has been done by a reputable person and the information given isn’t biased toward company sales.  Check out the two Dr. Mercola articles on sucralose at the links listed below.  Be sure to read about the potential harmful side effects in Dr. Mercola’s article listed below.  I believe that is important reading that will not be shown on any sales materials of the company marketing Splenda.

Despite what the Sucralose marketing material says, there have evidently been only 6 human trials in total now and the longest of them was for only 3 months.  There have been no studies on long-term affects on humans metabolizing sucralose on a regular basis.  Though a new study shows that it harms the good bacteria in the intestines, increases the pH levels beyond where they should be, and contributes to body weight and affected P-gp levels that could cause certain crucial drugs to be rejected.  (See Dr. Mercola’s Harmful Side Effects article for more on this.)  I’m sure that they’ll find out more as more testing is done over the years.

Truvia (the green packet)

In 2007 the FDA declared whole, natural stevia (as used in Celestial Seasoning Teas) unsafe.  (What??  Folks, the stevia they were using has been used for over 1,500 years as a sweetener. This stevia that has a hugely long history of use without safety issues is unsafe?)  But, the same FDA has declared Truvia (a sweetener that uses only two agents from the stevia plant – making it no longer a whole food) safe as a food additive.  Natural is bad.  Processed to death by man is good.  Hmmm.

Check out another of Dr. Mercola’s articles on this.  Evidently the jury is still out for him on this one.  It sounds to me like far more tests need to be performed in order to see how this processed sweetner pans out.  But again, it’s in a package… man-made.  You can actually go to a nursery or an online wholesaler of plants and purchase a stevia plant to grow in your own garden.  Then you can use the leaves as sweetener (as has been done for 1,500 years) and know that you’re getting the whole “food”, not some man-made sweetener.

What Does This Mean?

Folks, your kidneys and liver were created to metabolize food.  If you overload them with poisons, chemicals, and things like man-made synthetic products, they are overburdened just trying to function properly.  Why do that to yourself?

There are sweeteners that you can use that are far better for you.  (Use sweeteners in moderation.  Try organic cain sugar, coconut sugar, organic raw honey, or stevia leaves.  There truly are many options.)  But, you need to reset your tastebuds for whole foods instead of sweet, sweet processed foods and artificially made sweeteners.  Learn to have sweets in moderation.

Yes, I quote Dr. Mercola and I have respect for him.  However, I believe that everything should be in moderation.  I don’t believe in going way off to one side or the other of the pendulum.  Dr. Mercola discourages use of fructose (found in all fruits).  However, fructose from real, fresh fruits is part of a “whole food”.  It is not the processed product put into packaged goods. I take his advice and leave products that have fructose on the label alone. But, I believe that eating fruit every day is a good thing.  Not only does it taste good, but it has a way of satisfying a sweet tooth, is loaded with nutrients and fiber, and has wonderful health benefits for the body because of the enzymes and other healthy things found in it.  (Of course, I’m not a doctor or nutritionist.  I’m just a “layman” who believes in balance.)

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Additional reading on these topics

1. E-How – “How is Saccharin Produced”
2. E-Notes – Aspartame
3. Gov’t Site on Cancer and Artificial Sweeteners
4. All About Sucralose
5. Dr. Mercola – The Potential Dangers of Sucralose
6. Dr. Mercola – Potential Harmful Side Effects of Splenda
7. Dr. Mercola – FDA Approves Two New Stevia-based Sweeteners

Original Goal:     78.6 pounds to lose
Today:                   68.6 pounds to lose

According to my original weekly weight loss goals of 1.5 pounds per week, I am a bit behind.  This is the end of week 7.  I should have lost 10.5 pounds.  I have lost 1.4 pounds this week, which brings me to a 10 pound weight loss altogether.

Now, I chose to loose weight slowly over the period of 52 weeks (Jan 2 – Dec 31) because I had heard that slow and steady not only helps you keep the weight off after you’ve lost it, but it also helps your skin keep up with the changes in your body.  I have seen these reality shows on TV where people lose major amounts of weight in a relatively short period of time.  They have skin hanging and part of the show is where, if they lose enough by a certain date, they qualify to have surgery to remove the excess skin.

Now, I’m not a doctor, by any means.  But, it seems that allowing one’s skin to keep up with one’s weight loss by going a littler more slowly is always safer and healthier than surgical methods of removing excess skin and fat.   I realize that in some cases that may be considered unavoidable.  But, I had truly unavoidable surgery once before because of a major internal problem.  I’m not about to go under anesthesia and the scalpel again for anything if I can help it.  It was frightening,  unbearably painful for the next couple of weeks, and painful for almost 2 years afterward.  (First, I woke up twice during surgery in excruciating pain and talked with them both times.  The first time I just said, “It hurts so badly.”  I heard, “She’s awake!”  Then I remember someone putting the mask back over my face and telling me to relax and breath.  The second time I told them – as best as possible around the tube in my throat – that I was going to throw up.  They readjusted me and put the mask on me again.  In the year after, I was sure they had left something inside me, and they checked with x-rays and scans.  I was finally told that I was in a small percentage of people who would experience pain and discomfort for a long time after surgery.  It’s not an experience I want to ever repeat.)

The downside of losing weight slowly is my impatience.  I want to lose faster… see faster results… get to the next size down in my clothing.  So, doing this over a period of time just seems to drag it out.

On the upside, I have time to experiment on what works for me and what doesn’t.  It gives me time to truly make life-style changes and stick to them.  It enables me to make changes over a period of time in such a way that they become a life habit, not something I do for a short period of time and then stop after I’ve reached my goal.

When I stand up straight, I definitely look overweight.  But, I’m not what one would automatically consider to be obese.  However, according to the BMI chart, I’m not just overweight, I am obese.  That was not fun to hear when I was told that.   But, according to the BMI calculations it will take losing 29.6 more pounds to reclassify me from obese to overweight.

Well, I’m on my way.  My goal is to get healthier and my focus is my heart health.  I have kids to think about and I want to be around for them for a long time.

Have a blessed day.

FEAR

Our pastor has been going through the book of Hebrews.  Hebrews 11 is jam-packed with amazing information so it has taken a number of Sundays to even get part way through so far.  We’ll read about men and women of faith listed in Hebrews 11, referring back to the Old Testament scriptures that tell their fuller stories.  Our pastor’s insight has been so helpful in sharing what Hebrews 11 is all about.  Without fail, these stories have an underlying foundation of God’s grace connecting them all.  Our Life Group gets together each week and discusses the Sunday sermon and how it applies to every day life.  We have some amazing, thought-provoking discussions.

One of the verses that was brought up in the discussion this week as we were talking about Moses and how enduring faith chooses to fear God and not man was Proverbs 29:25.  “Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is kept safe.”  (NIV)

Wow!  That really got me thinking.  This is so true.  I believe that the term “safe” here could mean safe from doing the wrong thing because of peer pressure, safe from being controlled by others or our fear, etc.  I do not believe it is talking about physical or emotional safety.  People have been hurt after doing the right thing.  People can be cruel when you do what you think is right.  But, God has our good in mind.  He wants us to grow spiritually.  He wants our relatoinship with Him to be safe and secure.  So, fearing (a good, reverent kind of fear) and obeying Him is essential.

So, do I share my faith with others?  It’s hard to do because I am concerned with what they will think of me.  No wonder this verse in the Proverbs says that the fear of man is a snare.  It can bind us.  It can paralyze us from doing what we know is right.  And this is just one of many, many examples of how fear of man can have an affect on us, becoming a snare.  Other examples?

• Peer pressure – doing what everyone else is doing for fear of being different.
• Fear of backlash – not doing the right thing because of the potential consequences to our safety.  There are a lot of people in the world who have to make the choice to do the right thing or the “safe” thing.  But, the safe thing is often temporal where the right thing can have eternal impact.
• Fear of abuse – there are those who are in abusive situations and literally live in fear.  Some live in fear of their very lives.
• Fear of death – When it comes to talking about one’s faith, there are those who live in parts of the world where it is illegal to talk about Jesus Christ and what He did for us.  People who live there can literally be paralyzed by fear for their very lives or they can be emboldened by fear of God and knowing that, if they should die, they’ll be with God for eternity.
• Fear of many various “things” – such as spiders, snakes, people, animals, and many other things.

There are so many other faces of fear and ways that people can be affected by fear, but I’ll get back to what I’ve personally been thinking about this past week.  And that is “fear of man” as opposed to “fear of God”.

If fearing man’s reactions can stop us from sharing the story of God’s love for the world, then we become ineffective.  But, if we fear (with a healthy fear) God rather than man and we understand that God is with us, helping us do what we need to do, then we have the ability to share His love with others without worry, concern, or fear of their reactions.  It helps us grow in our relationship with Him.  And, as we grow in Him, we become more and more free from fear of man.

You see, It’s OK if someone gets mad at me for sharing my faith.  But, if I let fear of their anger paralyze me, then I’m looking at emotions and circumstances rather than trusting in God.  And that binds me, takes away my freedom.  There is freedom in keeping my eyes on God.  What is more important than any kind of fear is making sure that people in our lives can’t say that they never heard that God loved them so very much that He gave His only Son to pay the penalty for their sins so that they could be spiritually free.

And what is sin?  It is denial of, disobedience and rebellion against the God who created the universe and everything in it, including us.   We’re all in the same boat and have been ever since Adam and Eve’s first disobedience.  “All have sinned and come short of the glory of God.”  (Romans 3:23 KJV)   Read My Faith to find out more.

Now think about this.  We live in the framework of time.  But, God is eternal.  There was a start to “time” and there will be an end to it.  But, God always was, is and always will be.  Eternity is forever.  So, fear of man could ensure that those I love, those I care about, and those I meet could spend eternity without God because I’m afraid to tell them what I know.  But, fear of God and the love He gives me for others can motivate me to share and not worry about whether they’ll be mad at me or not.  I’d rather spend eternity with them in the presence of God than eternity without them.  I care enough about them to share.

Does fear of what others think about you control you?  Or do you have control over it?  Does your fear and reverence for God and your knowledge of eternity have greater sway with you than anything temporary here on earth?  Is your focus in the right place?

That’s something to think about.  I pray that your desire for things that are eternal far outweigh your fear of things that are temporal.  Because we live in a world of people who need to know who God really is and what He did for all of us.

Have a blessed week.

I remember going to Taco Bell often… years ago.  But, I haven’t been for a very long time.  So, last night I took my special needs son out to his bowling club and then dinner while my husband took our little guy out for a Cub Scouts activity and dinner.  We have a Taco Bell/KFC combination near us.  He chose KFC (he LOVES chicken anything) and I chose Taco Bell, deciding to get a Beef Burrito Supreme.

With anticipation (from my memory of what they used to taste like), I took a bite.

First of all, they may as well have called it a refried bean burrito.  Most of it was refried beans.  Evidently, this location uses the seasoned meat and sour cream as a condiment to be used very sparingly in the burrito.  So, the combined flavor of the seasoned meat, tomatoes and sour cream  that I used to love was greatly missing.  But, secondly… evidently I can’t deal with food like that anymore.  Last night I paid for my choice all night long with major heart burn.  (Sigh)

So, today I am taking it easy on my stomach.

We live in a society where heartburn is prevalent for young and old alike.  People pop medication like it’s going out of style.  One of the “behavioral changes” that I read about when I looked up how to deal with heartburn without medication was to stay away from fat and spices.  Uh huh.  I’m sure there was fat in that burrito, but I grew up with spices and that wasn’t spicy at all.  All I tasted through most of it was bland refried beans mixed with lettuce, tomatoes, a smidge of sour cream and finally… during the last two bites, some seasoned meat.  The burrito wasn’t worth the misery it caused afterwards.  (So, if the family chooses taco Bell again, perhaps I’ll opt for a chicken soft taco that just has chicken, lettuce and tomato.)

The next burrito I eat will be one of my homemade ones.  I say it over and over again, but it’s so true.  There’s nothing like homemade!  My husband agrees.  You know what’s in your food and you know how to season it to your own taste buds.

I had everything for a BLT but the tomatoes.  So instead, I made a BLOG and gave him the berry trifle for dessert.  (He usually doesn’t get desserts, so when I make them for special meetings like our Life Group Bible Study the night before, he sure enjoys it.)   My husband (who thinks onions and green peppers are great any way they’re served) loved it.  So, this is a new sandwich added to my list of sandwich recipes.  (Next time I make it, I’ll take a picture.  I didn’t think to do it this time.)

BLOG (Bacon, Lettuce, Onions & Green Peppers)

Bacon – 4 pieces, cooked
Lettuce – 1 piece big enough to cover the bread
Onion – 1/4 of a medium-sized one
Green Pepper – 1/4 of a medium sized one
Bread – 2 pieces toasted, one very lightly buttered and one with a very light spread of mayonaise
Black pepper – to taste

Cook the bacon in a pan until crispy (or the way you like your bacon).  Set aside.  Take out most of the bacon fat, leaving about 1 tsp in the pan.  Put onion and green peppers in the pan with the remaining bacon fat, grind pepper over top, and saute until slightly soft.  (There’s enough salt in my bacon that I didn’t need to add any.  But, you’ll want to be sure to take a taste and see if you need to add a little salt, based on the kind of bacon you use.)

Toast bread and spread a very small amount of butter on one side and a very small amount of mayonaise on the other side.  Put the bacon on one piece, cover bacon with onions and green peppers, and put lettuce over the whole thing.  Cover with the other piece of toast, cut in half, and serve.

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No, it isn’t low fat.  But, once in a while, it sure tastes good to eat bacon.  (By the way, since I’m determined to lose weight, I didn’t eat this sandwich.  I just tasted it to make sure that the flavor was good.  It was a hit with my husband.)

I’ve always said that actions speak louder than words.  Unfortunately, I’ve had a rude awakening.  Actions Do speak louder than words.  And my actions have been saying that everything else is more important than my family.

I have always been a busy person… a career woman who had many balls to juggle at the same time, many hats to wear, as it were.  I am great at multi-tasking.

Even this last year when I became an “At-Home-Mom” I have been multi-tasking, doing at least two things at the same time, if not more.  While I’m talking with someone, I may be creating a list in my mind of things that need to be done.  While I’m teaching homeschool, each time I give my son an assignment, I’m up cleaning dishes or throwing clothes in the wash machine or checking e-mail or any of a whole list of other things… including writing in my blog.

Lately, if I’m watching TV my son will insert his face between my face and the TV.  He’ll move if I move.  If I’m busy doing something he’ll make sure that he does something that requires my attention.  All of this multi-tasking is sending him the wrong message… that he’s not important.  WOW!  What an eye opener.

I starting thinking about it and asking myself some questions.

1. When was the last time I simply listened to my husband while he was telling me about something instead of half listening while doing something else?
2. When was the last time I was just 100% “in the moment” with my older special-needs son who simply wants to be heard, even if he says the same things over and over and over again?
3. When was the last time I spent 100% of my focus on my youngest son without any interruptions?  (Yes, we read bedtime stories.  We’re in the middle of a 20 chapter book, reading a chapter each night before bed.  But, that’s the only time I haven’t been truly multi-tasking.)

Are all of these other things more important to me than my family?   No, absolutely not.

So, why am I constantly driven to do and do and do rather than just “be” with my family?

I think I have trained myself over the years, made myself feel guilty if I wasn’t multi-tasking.  If I couldn’t say I was incredibly busy I always felt like I wasn’t achieving my purpose in life.  And, because of the society that we live in, I was getting kudos for all of the many things I accomplished.  Subconsciously, that reinforces the idea that multi-tasking and doing more than the person next to you is a good thing.  It gets you promotions and/or raises at work.  It ensures that people see how “valuable” you are to them and their company or organization.  It does so much more… and the rewards, especially in the corporate world, are wonderful.

Do I want to teach that to my kids?  No.  I want to teach them that, although there are and always will be things that must be accomplished and always doing our best is extremely important, people are always more important that things and tasks.  I want them to be the kind of folks that others are drawn to because they care about people.   Yes, I want them to always do their best and put 100% effort into all responsibilities.  But, they need to know that there are times when people come first.  And, with God as their highest priority, family always comes first over and above all else.  I want them to be the kind of people who look others in the eyes during conversations and make them feel that they and what they are saying are important.

As a wife what is my purpose?  It is to be the best partner, friend, and lover I can be to my husband.  It is to work toward making our home such a place and our life such a wonderful thing that my husband craves to be home and is built up so that he can be the best he can be outside the walls of our home.  It is to have his back and always there for him, no matter what.  It is to walk along-side him, encourage him, build him up, and love him.

As a mother what is my purpose?  It is to invest in the lives of my children in such a way that they are forever impacted in a positive manner.  It is to teach them, train them, encouarge them, and be an example to them.  It is to love them no matter what and be there for them… and it is so much more.

None of these things is impossible.  But, just like a beautiful flower garden needs tending to keep away the weeds and be beautiful, so relationships need tending to remain beautiful.  By muti-tasking and putting everthing else at the same level of importance as my family, I am not watering this beautiful garden or tending it.  As much as I love my family, that is a hard pill to swallow.  But, swallow it, I must.  My perspective has changed and life is going to follow that change.

REAL love is not doing, doing, doing and accomplishing all kinds of things at the risk of not tending that beautiful garden called family.  It is literally being there for my family, giving of myself and investing in their lives, being 100% in the moment.   (I’m not saying be there with them 24/7.  There are times when things need to get gone and that takes focus.  But, there are times when I need to make a decision to simple be and not stress about doing, doing, doing.)

The most important people in my life are my husband and my kids.  So, I’m determined from now on to NOT multi-task when it’s time to focus on them, but rather to truly be in the moment and give them 100% of my attention.  When I’m with them, I want to be WITH them.  There’s always a way to schedule in all of the other stuff that needs to get gone.  I’m going to get rid of the stress that I’m putting on myself to always be doing and start to show them that they truly mean more to me than anything in the world.

That, to me, is true love.

I have to say that I’m a bit disappointed.  But, what can I expect??  My choices were not exactly healthy choices most of the time.  This week has been filled with celebrating, which is usually accompanied by eating… and being very busy.  And when you eat out, you have to know that they use a whole lot more fat in cooking than you would.

[The picture to the right is a stock picture, not a picture of the cake that I ate.  I didn't think about taking a picture at the time or I would have.  But, what I had was absolutely delicious.]

What happened that didn’t exactly help my weight loss goals?

• a birthday dinner (ribs, sweet potatoes and steamed veggies along with a slice of homemade chocolate dream cake)
• going out for an early Valentines dinner on Saturday (filet mignon, sweet potato, salad)
• going to a breakfast buffet with a family member we don’t get to see every day (scrambled eggs; toast saturated with butter; greasy hashbrowns covered with sauteed mushrooms, onions and green peppers; pineapple; guava/orange juice; and I think there was more, but don’t remember what…  sigh)
• grabbing a quick breakfast at a fast food place after realizing that I had slept in and still had to take my son somewhere (chicken biscuit, orange juice) [I haven't done this for a long time.]
• being tired and grabbing a Stoffer’s chicken lasagna and garlic bread to throw into the oven for dinner on Friday night instead of making something homemade.

The bad news?  I only lost 8/10ths of a pound this week.

The good news?  After all of that, I still lost weight.

So, here are my numbers:

Beginning of week 1:       78.6 pounds to lose
Goal by end of week 6:    69.6 pounds left to lose
Actual end of week 6:      70.0 pounds to lose

I’m almost half a pound behind my goal.  So, this week I need to be really serious.  In order to get back on track, I’ll need to lose 1.9 pounds.

This is why it’s important to set your goal at the beginning of the year and break it down into weekly mini-goals.  That way, if you aren’t on track, you can quickly adjust to make sure that you stay focused.

I can’t tell you how many times this week I thought, “I hate having to lose weight.”  But, I can stay focused… and I will.

Did you know that this reaction you’re choosing (and yes, you’re choosing it) increaess your stress level?  I do… because I experience it from time to time.

Did you know that stress has a major impact on your health?  Unfortunately, yes.  I know that.  My “friend”, Stress, has helped me for three years to break out at inopportune times like a teenager, gain weight, and have chest pains.  At my age?  Yes.  Age doesn’t matter.  Stress messes with your life.  With a friend like that, who needs enemies?

So, why is Stress so common to so many of us?  Because we over-book, over-do, over-think, and over-complicate life.  In some cases, major things happen that are beyond our control and have nothing to do with our choices.

What is the best way to deal with it?  OK… I know the answer.  The thing is to put that answer into practice… at all times so that it just becomes a habit, not something I have to remind myself to consider.

So why is it so difficult to practice what one preaches?  Because we’re human.  Not one of us is perfect.  (I know.  I hear some of you out there saying, “Speak for yourself.”)  And, if we’re trying to do it (whatever “it” is) all on our own, we will never fully arrive.  The thing is to keep getting back up after every failure to follow what we know we need to do and keep moving toward that goal.  Never give up the race.

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“Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.  Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.  All of us who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you.  Only let us live up to what we have already attained.”  Philippians 3:12-16 (NIV)

We don’t have to be perfect.  We don’t have to have already arrived.  We just need to keep striving to move forward.

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Yet, when you read their stories in the Old Testament, they make mistake after mistake after mistake.  Some of them disobeyed God.  Some of them lacked faith in certain situations.  They were all real human beings… imperfect.  Yet, here they are in Hebrews 11, being lifted up as examples of faith.  Why?  Because they loved and lived for God.  Yes, they made mistakes because they were human, but they kept getting back up again.  They kept looking to God.  They kept ever moving forward.

That tells me several things:

1. No matter how many times I fail I can get up, ask God’s forgiveness, seek God’s help, and keep moving forward.  My goal is to keep my face pointed toward Christ and keep growing spiritually.
2. My perspective should be that of God’s perspective.  I can wallow in life or I can be lifted above it and keep doing as God wants me to do.
3. The aweseome thing about our God is that He wants us to come to Him.  He wants a relationship with us.  We will fall because we’re human.  But, we can come to Him, ask His forgiveness and know that He will forgive.  He will throw our sins as far away as the East is from the West.  (Psalm 103:12 “As far as the East is from the West, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.”)  In a straight line, the two will never meet again.

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So, back to frustration and stress…  If we have God in our lives, why do we still let “life” get to us?

The answer is simple.  WE GET IN THE WAY.

We take our eyes off of the big picture, off of what God wants us to see, and we put them on the things around us.  We let pride get in the way.  We let anger get in the way.  We hold on to things when we need to let go.

What does pride have to do with this?  Well, think about it.  What is your instant reaction if someone talks to you disrespectfully?  (I know what mine is.  I think, “He can’t talk to me that way!  Who does he think he is?”  Well, he just did.  Now, am I going to let him control my behavior and react to that show of disrespect?  Or am I going to remain in control of my own behavior and respond with kindness instead.)

What does anger what to do with this?  Just like most of you, when my pride is hurt, I get angry.  When I get angry, I react instead of responding with kindness or gentleness.  Just like it says in Philippians 3:12-16, we are not perfect.  We will react.  We need to live by what we have already attained.  But, how do we attain that knowledge and understanding?  The way to grow in that area is to meditate on God’s Word.   What are verses that have to do with whatever it is that is making you go, “Aaaaaaggghhh, I blew it again!”

Is the issue you’re struggling with anger?  Then look up all of the verses on anger that you can and start meditating on them.  Look up all the verses you can on God’s grace and start meditating on them.  (Yes, anger and grace.  When we’re angry, we’re not likely to give grace to someone.  But, God, who has the right to be angry when we deny Him and disobey Him and walk away from Him and blame Him for our failings, etc., still extends His grace to us.

Is the issue you’re struggling with stress?  Figure out why you’re stressed out.  Then look up all of the verses you can on that topic and meditate on them.

If you’re stressed out because of things that are beyond your control then study and meditate on verses that talk about how God walks you through life, how you can take everything to Him in prayer, how He wants to envelope you in His everlasting love, how He shares your burdens if you let Him, etc.

If you’re stressed out because you’ve overburdened your own life in some way or another, meditate on verses that talk about those issues.  There’s so much in the Bible about putting God first instead of the things in life, having His perspective on life instead of a worldly one, etc.  Changing your perspective and then making changes in your life will help relieve that stress.

But, meditating on God’s Word (memorizing verses and thinking about them, mulling over them) will truly help you change your perspective, help you take your eyes off of yourself and your circumstances, and help keep your eyes on Him.  When your perspective has changed, your reactions to life will lessen and appropriate responses will increase.

There’s so much more I could say about this, but so little time.  So, I’ll end it here.

Your perspective impacts whether you react or respond to life.  And there’s a huge difference between impulsive reactions and intentional responses.

So, now I’m going to go look up some of the verses I need to meditate on and take those in for the rest of the week. 

You have a blessed week.