Neither of Us is Perfect…
Divorce and marriage in Christian families seems to be not much better (statistically) than in non-Christian homes. Why is that? A big part of it is that we live a secular life rather than seeking the Lord in everything and living a truly God-seeking, God-honoring life. God tells us that we are in this world, but not of it. He says we need to be a light to the world. That starts at home.
A God-honoring marriage means putting each other first before ourselves, serving each other like Christ served, loving each other as Christ loves, respecting each other, and seeking God’s help in accomplishing all of this. As humans we can’t do it on our own. We’re all far from perfect. Only as the Holy Spirit works in our lives and changes us can we become more like Christ, truly sacrificial, truly loving… truly a light shining in this world.
My husband and I have had a saying since we were first engaged. “Neither of us is perfect, but we’re perfect for each other.”
Too often we human beings are critical of others, how they do things, what they wear, how they talk, what they think, how they communicate, how they handle finances or child-rearing or any number of other things. Usually in a marriage the little things drive us crazy and the “big” things become Mount Everests in our lives. But, does it have to be that way? Absolutely not.
Here’s one small step that we can take toward a more harmonious, God-honoring marriage.
We’re not perfect and neither are our spouses. Why expect them to be perfect when we can’t be perfect?
I believe that things drive us crazy because we have high expectations of others. We grew up one way and they grew up another. We have one personality/temperament and they have another. We have one set of preferences in how things are done and they have another. In some cases, we even have different levels of maturity. But, of all the illogical things, we expect our spouses to be the same as us, or better yet… perfect.
If you find yourself thinking critical thoughts, take one day at a time. How about making an attempt to start each day with the following determinations.
Neither of us is perfect. I won’t expect my spouse to be perfect today.
I will accept that God is working in my life and in my spouse’s life… and He hasn’t finished yet.
I will not take on the responsibility of being the Holy Spirit in my spouse’s life.
If I’m feeling critical and negative, I’ll take it to the Lord and not my spouse.
This day I choose to communicate in kind ways and work toward giving grace to my spouse the way the Lord consistently gives grace to me.
If we all start our days off with this mindset/determination, we will finally be giving ourselves the freedom to again enjoy our imperfect spouses and they will enjoy us so much more as well.
How did this topic come to mind? Experience… up close and personal. I just had a fight with my husband because he didn’t do something in our business the way I would have done it. Not only is that ridiculous, but it causes unnecessary strife. Thankfully, my wonderful husband, although not perfect, is loving and forgiving toward his imperfect wife.
Take time every day to appreciate your spouse, throw the negative things far from you, and give grace to him/her. It will bless your day as well.